Topic
... that l NEED to take medicine to help control my anxiety and l will probably be on it for the rest of my life regardless of how much he hates it and disapproves.
My form of anxiety seems to attack the things l love the most:
Meeting with groups of people (religiously and secularly), traveling, driving, playing video games.It does not matter how **relaxed** l am, BOOM- adrenaline surge after adrenaline surge hits me (l feel it in my face)... even though I am not concerned about them any more because I've lived with them so long and KNOW what they are- they still progress.At their worst, I will be stricken by 6 or more every minute for hours on end.
After awhile l start having a hard time ''breathing''.Again, that does not concern me.Whenever l find myself forcing yawns to get full lungfuls of air, l realize it is just another manifestation of my anxiety and l roll my eyes at myself.
When I am behind the wheel of a car l know that- after the surges and after the forced yawning- eventually l will feel thoroughly exhausted and l will start seeing two ''realities''- a dream will be foremost in my vision and the road will be behind it... almost as if seeing someone walking behind a screen.
After that, catepexia strikes and l lose control of my muscles, my speech will slur and l will fall asleep completely (pass out?) until one of the surges l hate so much strikes me to my senses and l come to.
Then the cycle repeats itself.
From there, my chest will become so tight that l can actually pop it as if it was one of my fingers.
And that is just the ''anxiety''.l have PMDD so badly l can not even walk the first couple days of my period because l feel as if I'd been repeatedly kneed and my cervix dilated beyond what is needed even for birth.
When I am on my meds, the worst of those are eliminated!!!!
And the real kick in the seat is that my hubby is an Ophthalmologist.He regularly prescribes meds and even operates on people.
Why does he have such a hard time with psychiatry and psychiatric meds?
How can l make my hubby understand how much these meds help and how much his riding me about them does NOT help.
I've been with my hubby for 10 years (married 8) and I've been seeing my Psychiatrist for about 7 years every single month.
l could not ignore the problems any longer when l fell asleep while driving our 40 foot long RV (not counting the 20 foot long car trailer) through the heart of Atlanta city during rush hour!
I've been taking Lexapro, Strattera and Provigil for several years now but I've stopped so l can have a sleep study done.My pdoc also wants me to have an EEG done to rule out seizures because my anxiety/panic does not make a lot of sense- but the meds work regardless.
My husband *can be* such a jerk about my treatment that I've stopped in the past and to keep that from happening again, my pdoc gives me samples when he has them.Hubby does not tend to give me a hard time if l do not talk about the problems or ask for extra money to buy them (out of sight out of mind).
l just do not understand why hubby does not understand how much this effects me?
And l will NEVER be able to convince him to go to counseling.My pdoc has offered to speak with him several times, but hubby wont.